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Wish Angel
I really don't feel like it is directly my fault or anything and I love her still, but I would rather have sex with a different type of girl. She just feels to mundane in a boring traditional way.
I have always had a fixation with women who were unconventional and quirky. Like driving motorcycles and have tattoos while not being complete tools.
Anyways, I am not sure what to do. I don't want to break up or cheat. I feel like I put myself in a position to rely on her too much. I mean, I work but I am still in college and I don't want to live in my car.
I really don't like the idea of being with another women. The one I am with is just so.. Unexciting. Follows the rules, supports the status quo, likes to talk about nothing.. I am way different, I like to go to political protests, and mix things up daily.
Answer
Love and sex are two DIFFERENT things! And there are all kinds of love - you can love your dog, your job, your school work, your teacher, your friend, your mother and father, sisters and brothers - but you know the difference, right? You know that how you love your mother is not the same kind of love you would have for a girlfriend. It's not the same thing. And in this case, sex is not love - although people frequently get the two mixed up. Sex is about the body and physical attraction and stimulation and gross satisfaction. The fact is, you can get gross satisfaction with your hand, that is called, masturbation. Sex is nothing really, but masturbation INSIDE of someone else's body. Sex is also a way for two people to mutually join (spiritually that is)...but that is another matter. So the point I am making is, that if you love her but you find her sexually repugnant, then you can still love her - you are just not attracted to her sexually. And you just said that - you love her but don't like having sex with her. There are also some women you could have sex with and like having sex with, but you don't love them...just the opposite. What most people want and desire is that they BOTH love AND want sex with the other person. So if you find she is not your sex partner kind of person, then find someone else to have sex with or find someone else to love and have sex with...but just be certain you keep in mind that love and sex, while sometimes expressed in a relationship between two people, one has nothing to do with the other thing.
I would say, continue loving her, if you want - but find another person because nothing is worse than trying to have sex with someone who turns you off.
Love and sex are two DIFFERENT things! And there are all kinds of love - you can love your dog, your job, your school work, your teacher, your friend, your mother and father, sisters and brothers - but you know the difference, right? You know that how you love your mother is not the same kind of love you would have for a girlfriend. It's not the same thing. And in this case, sex is not love - although people frequently get the two mixed up. Sex is about the body and physical attraction and stimulation and gross satisfaction. The fact is, you can get gross satisfaction with your hand, that is called, masturbation. Sex is nothing really, but masturbation INSIDE of someone else's body. Sex is also a way for two people to mutually join (spiritually that is)...but that is another matter. So the point I am making is, that if you love her but you find her sexually repugnant, then you can still love her - you are just not attracted to her sexually. And you just said that - you love her but don't like having sex with her. There are also some women you could have sex with and like having sex with, but you don't love them...just the opposite. What most people want and desire is that they BOTH love AND want sex with the other person. So if you find she is not your sex partner kind of person, then find someone else to have sex with or find someone else to love and have sex with...but just be certain you keep in mind that love and sex, while sometimes expressed in a relationship between two people, one has nothing to do with the other thing.
I would say, continue loving her, if you want - but find another person because nothing is worse than trying to have sex with someone who turns you off.
Prom dress and completely black high-top Converse chucks. Will this look cool?
I have got this dress for prom (or ball as we call it here) from Karen Walker. Image: http://www.style.com/slideshows/fashionshows/S2008RTW/KWALKER/00250m.jpg
It's obviously really girly and I just think it will look tacky with pretty, little high heels, so I was wondering if it will be cool to wear it with a black sort of gothic looking belt (maybe). Image: http://www.teenvogue.com/images/style/stsl-07-vamp0903.jpg
and all black Converse high-top chucks. Image: http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/317YFRA9V2L.jpg
I was inspired by this photoshoot in Teen Vogue, so this is the look I want happening. Images:
http://www.teenvogue.com/images/style/stsl-04-vamp0903.jpg
http://www.teenvogue.com/images/style/stsl-03-vamp0903.jpg
http://www.teenvogue.com/images/style/stsl-05-vamp0903.jpg
I am going to paint my nails black and do my makeup like Alexa Chung. Image: http://www.seatwave.it/filestore/SEASON/IMAGE/alexa-chung_006507_1_MainPicture.jpg
What do you think? Will this look cool?
Umm... a ball in my country is kind of different to a prom in America. It's not nearly as over the top, so of course they will let me in wearing chucks.
I love how you are all saying it will look tacky, when the dress cost me $600. I don't see how you can make a $600 dress look tacky. The dress is Karen Walker. She shows at New York Fashion week and guess what? Every single shop assistant at Karen Walker wears her clothes, including this dress, with chucks. So I'm sorry. but I think you guys are the ones that have no idea about what is fashionable and what is tacky.
Answer
I think it's a very creative idea, and I can see the appeal of the juxtaposition of a delicate, beautiful dress with the black Converse, but I think that in time you may regret the decision. Have you ever looked at prom pictures from back in your parent's day when it was trendy for the guys to wear ruffled shirts with their tuxedos and the girls to have blue eye shadow, and sort of cringed? Converse sneakers are hip right now, but like most fads, their popularity will fade with time. I would strive for a more elegant, timeless look for your prom that will be less cringe-inducing to your future self.
That's not to say that you should abandon all creativity. I think the makeup and nails will be striking with your dress, and will give you a distinguished look.
You could always bring the Converse shoes with you and change into them towards the end of the night after the photos have been taken and the main event is winding down. The dress and the shoes would be quirky and fun, but better suited for the After-Prom than the main event.
If you really, truly, want to wear the Converse for the whole night, though, then do it. I'm contemplating getting a henna tattoo of a peacock on my back, out of sight from the camera lens but visible to everyone else, and though some may raise their brows or tsk-tsk and call it a fashion faux pas, I think I'll absolutely love it.
Whatever you wear, I hope you have a fabulous event and memories to cherish.
~ Pax / Peace : )
Edit:
I neglected to mention the belt in my original answer; I love it and think it would compliment the dress smashingly.
In regards to your added detail about the shop assistants at the Karen Walker store wearing Converse chucks: bear in mind that they are on their feet most of the day, and so for practical purposes more comfortable shoes are necessary. I imagine that for special occasions like the ball they would recommend wearing more sophisticated shoes. If you really didn't want to wear heels, then maybe you could wear sexy booties like these: http://www.kristopherdukes.com/images/Pedro-Garcia-booties.png
: )
I think it's a very creative idea, and I can see the appeal of the juxtaposition of a delicate, beautiful dress with the black Converse, but I think that in time you may regret the decision. Have you ever looked at prom pictures from back in your parent's day when it was trendy for the guys to wear ruffled shirts with their tuxedos and the girls to have blue eye shadow, and sort of cringed? Converse sneakers are hip right now, but like most fads, their popularity will fade with time. I would strive for a more elegant, timeless look for your prom that will be less cringe-inducing to your future self.
That's not to say that you should abandon all creativity. I think the makeup and nails will be striking with your dress, and will give you a distinguished look.
You could always bring the Converse shoes with you and change into them towards the end of the night after the photos have been taken and the main event is winding down. The dress and the shoes would be quirky and fun, but better suited for the After-Prom than the main event.
If you really, truly, want to wear the Converse for the whole night, though, then do it. I'm contemplating getting a henna tattoo of a peacock on my back, out of sight from the camera lens but visible to everyone else, and though some may raise their brows or tsk-tsk and call it a fashion faux pas, I think I'll absolutely love it.
Whatever you wear, I hope you have a fabulous event and memories to cherish.
~ Pax / Peace : )
Edit:
I neglected to mention the belt in my original answer; I love it and think it would compliment the dress smashingly.
In regards to your added detail about the shop assistants at the Karen Walker store wearing Converse chucks: bear in mind that they are on their feet most of the day, and so for practical purposes more comfortable shoes are necessary. I imagine that for special occasions like the ball they would recommend wearing more sophisticated shoes. If you really didn't want to wear heels, then maybe you could wear sexy booties like these: http://www.kristopherdukes.com/images/Pedro-Garcia-booties.png
: )
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